On a downer...

Not much to report today... slowly catching up with uni work!
Stomach is now playing up, may just be nerves for tomorrow, but there's no need to be nervous! I only do fun runs for fun, since I am in no way speedy enough to be serious enough to compete. I would like to beat last year's time, though.

I made this chocolate cheesecake from Taking Small Bites' blog. I accidently put in too much cocoa powder though, which is why mine is much darker than hers (and probably much richer.... I could only eat half at first... then went back and ate the rest later ;)) It was very delicious though.

I also had this for breakfast. It was pretty good, but 220 calories for that tiny little container was a bit much, I can make bigger smoothies for less ;P It was more a smoothie than juice though.

I also ate my weight in dried fruit... it was kind of a binge to tell you the truth. I'm feeling pretty down at the moment because I'm so stressed about study. I'm really behind so I tell myself there's no time to catch up with friends... so I don't... then I'm stressed because I'm not hanging out with friends. Then I procrastinate... then I'm behind again... it's a vicious cycle :( This is probably the cause of my tummy issues... too much dried fruit!

There's other issues going on at the moment too which are getting me down but I'll leave that alone for the moment. I don't want to be a downer blogger. Hopefully everything will feel better once I go running tomorrow, 3 days without is killing me!

Other running bloggers

So I've been reading a lot of running blogs the past couple of days, and most of them include the most delectable foods - the kind of foods I love to eat, such as peanut butter!
Then I noticed another trend - like 90% of the blogs I really liked involved girls who had disordered eating.

Seriously, it's disturbing how many girls out there have a story like mine, and the more I look, the more I find. Most of them are in the US, though. The main difference of course is that they're all dead skinny, gorgeous and eating lots of great food, whereas I'm borderline overweight, still bingeing, still having disgusting thoughts about food, still stigmatising "bad" food, and not really running as much as I could (because I keep getting injured and sick!)

One thing I've taken away, though, is that I need to be eating more. Especially on the days I exercise. And that I should attempt intuitive eating, and stop counting calories! Oh, to be free of counting... that would be a wonderful day. I keep trying the last couple of days, then freak out and think I've had too much - so I count it all up to check. Arggh!

So exercise is not something I usually have trouble with but since I've been back from Vietnam and not feeling too great, I haven't been doing much but sitting on my bum watching movies or lying in bed... but still eating a fair bit. I'm hoping that when I go away to Melbourne for two weeks for a course I will be feeling a bit better and have more of a chance to get back into it - although the food there is catered, so that will make it a bit harder.

Anyway, I am feeling a bit better today, so plan on a run this afternoon.

Maybe I'll do a bit of food blogging too... so today's breakfast was oats with a bit of Just Right cereal, spoon of cinnamon and a coffee... snacks included a protein bar, apple, one piece Lindt 70% chocolate with a large marshmallow (ate it together - was like rocky road!) and then for lunch a roast beef & cheese sandwich... this is such a bad day of food, honestly, and where's the vegies???! No wonder I feel so sick still - although hopefully will feel better enough later for a run :(

Edit: Hoorah, felt better enough for a run - sort of. Went for 7.81km, but probably ran about 4 km of that. Stomach was having issues. Was going for a decent pace at the start though, pretty happy with it, then had to drop it, and then eventually walk. Oh well, probably too much too soon anyway after feeling off for so long. Then I got home and had a small chocolate milk & some almonds / dried cranberries.