Ending the negativity

I've realised lately that I'm actually not as recovered as I thought I was. 

I've written several posts - about five, in fact - that I have decided not to post as they were just so negative. 

This isn't what I wanted this blog to be about at all. I'm confused about everything.

There is no need for another blogger out there who posts negative things or talks all about their ED, or seems to "encourage" the idea... I wanted this blog to be about being fit, healthy and happy - not counting calories and being unhappy - which is really the place I am at. I hate reading other blogs and seeing that people think they are better, when really they are not. It just makes me sad.

One thing that made me realise I am not recovered was how hard Christmas was for me. It wasn't that I was forced to eat anything I didn't want to, but I was constantly on edge and bit my whole family's head off with my attitude. They were mad at me for it. I did not enjoy Christmas at all.

I have made an appointment with a dietician, but I couldn't get in until the end of January. I don't know what the problem is, exactly... I'm not anorexic or bulimic as before, but I seem to be leaning much more towards the orthorexic ways and it's just not cool. I also think the fact that I've been quite depressed plays a big part, and eating healthy is something else to focus on. It's completely complicated by so many other factors!!

But as I said, I don't want this blog to be about that. So from now on, expect an end to the negativity - it means I will post much less, most likely - and a return to posts about my passions in life - running & kickboxing. I suppose that will become easier next year when I start doing more races.

I think I will make a start to posting positive posts soon, perhaps with some more "things that make me happy" type posts.

Banning myself from grocery shopping!

I have come to the conclusion that I need to ban myself temporarily from grocery shopping. With all the free time I've had since being on uni break, I have seriously been to the grocery store FIVE times this week... there were so many new products that I had to buy... like, I actually can't leave a new product on the shelf. I'm beginning to think it's a problem!!! I have spent a ridiculous amount of money on food I do not need! Of course it will get eaten but there is already plenty of food in my house.

I am going to *attempt* to fill the grocery shopping time with going for a daily walk instead, every day of December (Unless I'm going for a run that day, in which case I will run). This ties in with my (again) efforts to try and lose weight. I want to do it, but there's no pressing need. I'm in the healthy weight range, it's just that I have put on 8 kg since last year (I have no idea how... but moving back in with the parents probably didn't help) and my clothes don't fit the way they used to. Losing the 8 kg again will still put me in the healthy weight range, considering I am right at the upper end at the moment.

My plan is to hopefully see a dietician, as all of this "eat back your exercise calories" "don't eat back your exercise calories" and conflicting information all over the place has confused the hell out of me, to the point where I seem to switch between the two and probably confuse the hell out of my body. Obviously 1 year of uni has not taught me enough yet to figure out how to do it myself!

As well as that, continuing on with increasing my running mileage should help + more weights sessions...

I'm sure this blog entry had a point, I just can't remember what it was... anyway, the sea breeze is now in so it's time for a walk. (36'C / 96'F today!!)

Challenging myself.

So I'm back from my two week trip into the bushes of Australia. As per the previous post on Introversion, it was not all sunshine and roses. Far from it.
The challenges I thought I would have the trouble with was eating unhealthy food and not being able to exercise. In reality the most trouble I had revolved around being bored and dealing with an extremely arrogant, chauvinistic pig who was basically a "workplace bully".

The food challenge went really, really well though. I ended up eating m & ms a couple of times, usually a forbidden type of food. Takeaway pizza one night. Went out for dinner twice - once I ordered steak with fries and ate them all, another time I had deep fried zucchini "balls" (with salad). I also went out drinking with the boys - after which I had bacon and eggs. I also ate the most forbidden food of them all in my mind - a donut. The good part about it though, is that while I felt guilty each time I ate these unhealthy foods, I did not beat myself up about it (too much) or dwell on it to a large degree.

I was not able to work off anything I ate. We were not allowed to wear anything but our uniform and as I only had two pairs and we had no access to showers.... yeah. It would have also been too difficult as we couldn't leave the small square area of bush we were based in, so unless I ran 100 m back and forth!! I decided to just use the two weeks as a break / rest. Although I suspect it will be VERY difficult to get back into it all. It always is after a break! My plan tomorrow is to go for an easy run and just see how I feel, run as many k's as my legs feel good for.

The weirdest part of all? After eating rubbish food and doing NO exercise for two weeks... I lost 1.6 kilos (3.6 pounds). Honestly, every time I do something like this, I ALWAYS lose weight. It's really confusing and frustrating. While I know when I'm away I don't count calories and tend to eat a little more intuitively, it still doesn't seem to make sense that I can eat food with no nutritional value and generally treat my body in a crappier way yet it responds with weight loss. Then I go back home and return to my normal ways and it comes back on.

I usually either respond by attempting to eat more intuitively when I get home (usually backfires and ends up with weight gain) or increase my calories to match what I thought I was eating when away (usually ends up with weight gain too). Hopefully it's not muscle loss or something, and that's the reason why I always lose when I go away somewhere and then it returns when I resume exercising. Hmm... curious.

I will be back tomorrow with a WIAW post. I'm probably going to be eating some sort of "detox" kind of foods. I'm not into the whole detox thing, but basically I mean getting back to eating healthier wholesome foods to rid my body of all the processed rubbish I've been eating. Had a lunch for my grandma's birthday today and there was lots of salad and fruit salad, so that was a great start. I missed fresh food!!!

Exam cramming and strength workouts

Ramble ramble ramble... I don't feel like doing WIAW today because I ate nothing interesting. Except pink chicken, waiting to get sick now...

Today was my anatomy exam, and I think I did OK... there were a few more questions that I guessed than I would like... but I definitely did not leave any questions with blank answer fields! Always gotta guess something just in case.... ;)
There were 140 questions so a couple that I was unsure of isn't too bad I suppose, when there's that many!!

I spent the first four hours of today doing a bit of a cram session... I know a lot of people say that doing this is bad, but I think combined with many weeks of studying, it can be a great strategy. There's always last minute things that you see and go, ahh, I didn't study that area too well - and having it just stay in your brain for another couple of hours is good enough for the exam. Or you might revise a bit more on a weak area. Cramming is great, if you ask me. Doing it the night before, not so much. But the few hours before - yes.

After my exam I went to the gym and did 10 mins on the elliptical before I was bored out of my mind, then I went for about 5 mins on the rower but put in a really good effort...

'Twas mainly a strength workout though for ~ 30 mins:
Dead lifts 2 x 15 (20kg)

Shoulder lifty thing 2 x 15 (What is this called again?) (20kg)

Pulldown machine 2 x 15 (Level 5)

Upright row 2 x 5 (20kg)

Biceps 2 x 15 (3kg each hand)

Chest press 3 x 15 (6 kg each hand)

Tricep press x 30 (on bench)

Situps 45 (on fit ball)

Lunges 45 (w/6 kg in hands)

Pushups 45 (on toes)

Plank 1 min

30 oblique situps

Yeah, I'm no good at strength workouts without BodyPump! I end up just doing random things that I remember from BodyPump, and tend to leave out large areas (like I forgot to do squats, and only 10 rows?) I need to write some kind of program down and bring it in with me... but I'm happy I did it, because I skip my strength workouts a lot... just doesn't have the same appeal as cardio stuff! 


And I kinda tend to judge people at the gym. Does anyone else do this? People who are on the bikes going super slow, chatting to their friends. What's the point? And all the guys "spotting" with their friends just look gay, in my opinion. In general I just find the gym a place full of superficial, boring people. I'd much rather be outdoors pounding the pavement / grass / whatever, swimming in the ocean, cycling outdoors, bushwalking in the... well, bush.... kickboxing in a ring. The gym is just so... stuffy!! But necessary, d'oh!


Tonight we were meant to have a dinner for my brother's birthday, so I didn't have anything else planned. Now I'm thinking I might go to kickboxing training, although I'll see how I feel later on. It's so annoying that it's at 7.45pm!


Also... my love for the show Mystery Diagnosis actually helped me in exams :D Woooooo!

Fitness... & Alcohol

I'm debating taking a blogging break, even though I only started a couple of months ago. I'm just in a funk a lot and negativity is no fun. But before that, I'm going to blog a bit of a fitness survey and then rant about alcohol. 

Five Fitness Things I can’t Live Without:

• My Nike Lunarglide +2, they are the comfiest running shoes I've ever had, they have great support and fit my feet so well, plus they are pretty haha.
• My iPhone - so I can use Runkeeper and log my runs and see where I'm struggling, where I'm doing well, etc... gives pacing, km's, calories, speed, etc.
• Decent running shorts. I've got two pairs of Nike tempo and a couple of Running Bare shorts that are fantastic. Definitely a good pair is underestimated, as if you're not wearing them... shorts ride up, get sweaty, all that kind of thing... a worthy investment methinks.
• I'm actually struggling to think of five. OK, hair ties. I can't stand my hair flying all over the place.
• Good sports bra for support, even though I don't need much ;P

Most Embarrassing Song I Listen to While Working Out:

• Hm, Pitbull - Shut it Down... lol... it played a lot in BodyPump for a while I think and I started to like it. Same with "Ravers in the UK". 

Favorite Pre-Workout Snack or Meal:

• It changes, I don't have a go-to... sometimes I'll have a banana, sometimes jam on bread, it depends on what I'm doing. Most of the time I'll go before breakfast though or a couple of hours after breakfast, so it's not an issue.

On My Fitness Bucket List:

• Run a half-marathon
• Run a full marathon
• Join a running club (There's a huge lack where I live, though, so will be a 30 min + drive...)
• Do well in the kickboxing tournament
• Try all the classes at the gym I haven't tried yet
• (There is LOADS more on my fitness bucket list...)

Must-Have Tech Tools:

• See above, the iPhone! or if I didn't have that, I'd probably get a Garmin.

Top Exercise Gear:

• This is pretty much the same as my gear I can't live without...

Motivational Mantras:

• I don't have any - maybe I should get some!!

Next Big Exercise Goal:

• At the moment just increasing my mileage up to the point where I can run 30+ km a week, but doing it as slowly as possible without making myself crazy ;)

Favorite Cardio Exercise:

• running, kickboxing... they kinda tie.

Favorite Strength Move:

• pushups, funnily enough.

ALCOHOL

I so had all these ideas to say about alcohol this morning while sitting on the train, and should have blogged then. OK, so basically I used to drink when I was 20-21 ish. Not a lot, but whenever I would go to parties it would ease my anxiety, and I was able to interact with people in a way I definitely couldn't before. Instead of being the shy girl that never talked, I turned into a crazy, fun, hyperactive person who would talk to ANYBODY and everyone thought I was funny and entertaining. That could have been something which turned into an addiction for me as I have an addictive personality, but it ended up just being left like that... something I did at the occasional party.

As my social anxiety started to get better and I started to talk to people on my own without alcohol, I started to dislike alcohol more and more, and wonder why people even drink, especially if they don't have social anxiety issues? I tried to quit, but gave into peer pressure most of the time, and ended up acting stupid a lot and regretting it.

Then the eating disorder came, and all of a sudden I had so many great excuses not to drink, not to go to parties, not to see my friends... so I stopped.

Anyway fast forward to now... I drink probably 1 or 2 times a year, feel intense guilt each time and tend to restrict the next day. I also get disgustingly, intensely ill from even the smallest amount of alcohol. You could say that's just what happens when you get older, but I mean it's ridiculous. So I went to see my friends on Saturday night, and it was like impossible not to drink. It's so ingrained in Australian culture, and all the things I do - skydivers are pretty much alcoholics, and they've known me to be a drinker in the past. So how could I not accept their "gifts" of beers, which they paid for, as a "welcome back" sort of gift? Wow I'm good at getting off drift... I'll come back to that though.

Anyway so Saturday night I had a grand total of three beers. I had a meal of roast beef with potatoes, peas, beans and pumpkin. I drank water before my first beer, after my first beer, and after my second beer. I then took a 600mL bottle to bed with me and sculled it. I did ALL THE RIGHT THINGS. I was not drunk, was barely even tipsy.

Sunday night I wake up with a horrendous headache, throbbing like a heartbeat. I feel sick to the stomach as if I've been up all night downing vodka or something deadly, and I spend the entire day lying on the couch with an icepack on my head groaning. It was ridiculous! All that from three beers. So henceforth I am completely and utterly off the booze. If it can make your body react like that from only three drinks, how can one drink supposedly be good for you?

So back to the culture thing. I hate that Australian culture is so, so, so RUN around the culture of drinking. Every weekend... have a barbecue - with drinks. Go to the beach - with drinks. Have a party - with drinks. Catch up with mates - over a drink. Go to a mate's house for the night - have drinks. Watch the footy - have drinks. Australia Day - let's get drunk. Christmas - drinks at the beach. You get the idea. Every event quickly turns into an excuse to drink. It's not healthy and something needs to be done about it.

Skydiving is similar - you do something for the first time, you owe a "carton" of beer to your friends. It's good in a way, in that it encourages you to get to know people and celebrates something new, all that kind of thing. But why with booze? Why does everything centre around booze?

This is one of the reasons why I am studying Health Promotion. There needs to be more done to reduce the prevalence of it, or perhaps encourage more activity without alcohol - like ads on TV or something, "Go for a jog with a friend" instead of "catch up for drinks" on the weekend. That kind of thing...

WOW, seriously gone on a rant now... and there's more I could say too... in fact I could probably go on for ages ;P

In other news - today I had my first exam and am confident of passing. One down, two to go...

Procrastination in many forms...

It's study week for exams, so naturally there is loads of procrastination through the form of delicious foodstuffs, exercise, and... there is always so much stuff to tidy up! (Don't forget the blog I am writing right now...)

I don't know what it is with me this semester, I think I've kinda broken or something... but I just don't have the motivation I had last semester. 

The uni has shortened all the semesters, so instead of two weeks off, we have one. Instead of a long mid-year break, it's only 4 weeks. So basically the entire year of teaching is squished between March and October, and then we get an insane four months off. Don't get me wrong - I'm seriously looking forward to those four months!! But it means I've been super stressed for the other eight, with little break in between, and I'm sooo over it. Anyway...

One of those weird apple-apricot-oat muffin-brownie things, covered in yoghurt mixed with peanut flour. It kinda made an icing!

Baby poo pudding. Well, it actually looked more baby poo coloured in real life... this was avocado, banana, spinach, cocoa powder, protein powder... and probably other stuff, I've forgotten now. It tasted better than it looks!

I finally jumped on the bandwagon and had a sweet potato with almond spread & greek yoghurt. Now I see. I understand!

Finished my Justin's Hazelnut Butter and of course had oats in a jar... bittersweet moment.

Peanut flour mixed with the last of my greek yoghurt.

As much as I dearly love blogs that are full of foodie pictures and exercise stuff, and as much as I want to include that in mine, I don't want it to be all about that stuff. I've never been part of "mainstream" or "popular". I've always been on the outskirts. So I guess I kind of want my blog to reflect that. 

I'm not a goth or emo or anything like that, I guess it's more that my social anxiety has led me to become more isolated than I would like to be, and while people seem to like me, that's as far as it usually gets. OK, gone off on a tangent there!!

I would like to actually write more often though. Probably after exams. I have three - Chemistry, Anatomy & one that is pretty much social / environmental / biological etc determinants of health, but has a much longer name.

All right I'm going to have to stop writing now and actually start studying.

Oh.. PS. Thanks for all the great comments on my last post :D

Losing weight again

So I've been thinking again... I want to lose this weight I've gained. It's only about 5-8 kg to get back down to what I was not so long ago, but it's driving me batty. 

[DISCLAIMER: I am actually bordering on overweight, so although I've had an ED, I'm trying to lose healthy now...]

So I've rethought a few things, and instead of trying to eat intuitively and making myself eat fear foods - I think I'm getting better at that - it's back to trying to lose the weight, since I now have a healthier relationship with food. I've been thinking about different ways of doing this and I've come up with (believe it or not) less exercise to start with - slowly increasing it as I go.

My favourite lunch at uni... usually includes a range of this selection: falafel balls, egg,
tuna, carrot, sprouts, olives, chick peas, mixed nuts, dried fruit, baby spinach,
beetroot, couscous salad, pasta salad etc.

I think I've gone about exercise the wrong way a lot of the time, going all out and overdoing it, burning myself out, injuring myself, that kind of thing. So this week all I have done is gone on two short runs and two short walks, tomorrow I'm doing a 5km run. So three runs, two walks. Feels pretty lazy at the moment but I'm going to slowly work it up. As for the food side of it, I'm not "restricting" as such, but changing the macros - instead of what I've currently been having (roughly 35% fat, 45% carbs and 20% protein), I'll be trying to switch it to 20% fat, 50% carbs and 30% protein. Hoping the extra protein will keep me fuller so I'll eat less - only reducing by 100-200 calories a day. So far today was difficult (mainly keeping the fat down - I love my fats!) but I managed it, with the help of my friend protein powder. Speaking of... 

Found this today, YAY SOY, means I can actually have some without belly issues :D Plus it's chocolate flavour, I was a bit over that vanilla flavour I had.

My delicious breakfast, which was a melted banana mixed in with oats, coconut vanilla butter, raisins, chia seeds and cinnamon.

Lunch - Two pieces sprouted grain bread spread with a small amount of basil pesto, 1 egg, some baby spinach and mushrooms lightly fried with cajun seasoning.

* Just so you know, that isn't all I ate today - just didn't take pics of anything else ;)

I also found these at the supermarket yesterday, and they are SO DELICIOUS. Poppyseed and orange is always a good combination - and the bar is just fruit with poppyseeds :) Yay!

This was also a new product I found, banana and honey soy milk in tetra packs :D Should come in handy...

Oh and I bought this singlet from Cotton On Body, ha, I thought it was such a great play on words... don't get me wrong, I do love the treadmill occasionally, but you aren't actually going anywhere when you're on one ;) I thought it would be fun to wear when I actually go on the treadmill... OK, call me lame :P

Tomorrow I'm doing by first 5 km race... I know, weird, because I've done 3 12kms, 1 10km and two 14 km, but I've never done a 5k! I really want to actually get to the 30 minute mark, that shall be my goal, but of course any quicker would be nice... not expecting to break any records but my own! Looking forward to it!

City to Surf 2011

I have nothing huge to mention about this morning's race... I think I did it in 1.18 to 1.21 hrs, but I can't be totally sure! Will find out tomorrow when they upload the results. Right on the money with my guesstimate of time :)
I was feeling good apart from the nausea, I was up half the night with this weird stomach bug I've had for the last couple of days... but otherwise feeling pretty good.
One thing that really pissed me off - there were protesters on the sidelines. Seriously, go away! Who wants to hear you chanting negative stuff when we're having a good time? I could hear some of the other runners yelling back at them, good on them.
Then there's the people that cut in front of you (like, RIGHT in front of you) and then go really slow... ugh!
I saw one of my friends at one point and tried to catch up but then lost track of him, so I don't know how I went compared to him.
And there was someone getting CPR, like, 5 metres before the finish point :( I hope they made it... that's scary!
Met up with those from work afterwards and we got burgers - I got a sesame crusted chickpea burger with aioli on wholemeal bread... sounded healthy but my gut is not happy now - although that could be dehydration nausea also.
:D

Where did the strength go?

Have been slowly changing the blog around as I learn to use Blogger :) Plus I changed my name... again!

Still trying to work out how to do things, but hopefully I'll get there eventually.

Today went off to BodyPump... used lighter weights than I normally would as I wasn't sure how I'd go after boot camp... turned out to be a good choice. Where did my strength go?? :( The only part I had improved on was the pushups! Oh well.
Then I went for a 5k walk on the treadmill, bit faster than yesterday but I suppose that's because it was the treadmill...

And here's some food porn from today's eats because text only is boring :D

Breakfast this morning: cashew butter & apricot jam on "four seed ploughman's bread". I like the look of spreads on toast in pictures... I don't know why?? 

After exercise snack: raspberries and greek yoghurt...

And after I smooshed it all up :D Yummo...

Weird oat cookie type thing I attempted... with apricot jam on top! Tasted ok... needs work.

Green smoothie with banana, spinach, maca powder & cocoa powder... my usual recipe

Mushrooms with vegemite, another one of my favourites!!

Weekly Plan

o yesterday... or whenever it was.. I posted a weekly recap of my workouts, so this time I might post a plan in a hope to stick to it, haha (including yesterdays)

Monday: Boot Camp, 100 pushups program (did 79 - oh they hurt)

Tuesday: Did a 3km run, not feeling too well.

Wednesday: Boot camp, 100 pushups program

Thursday 5km walk, maybe something strength related in the afternoon.

Friday: Last Boot Camp!!, 100 pushups program

Saturday: swim 50 - 100 laps

Sunday: long run. again, depends how the shins feel.

I'm kinda reluctant to give myself KM's at the moment because of the way my shins are feeling. I did a bit of a run to my car last night when it was raining at uni and they hurt a bit, so we'll see how we go. I was going to cross-train today with a gym class but I've missed it by sleeping in :/

Oh, and I gained .7 kg this week. Why does this keep happening? You can't gain this much muscle every week. I must eat too much, but I'm reluctant to restrict myself...

These are a few of my favourite things...

OK, I've decided to do a bit of a picture post, as all the text entries were getting pretty boring...not that anyone actually reads this haha (plus I'm procrastinating studying for an anatomy test...)

Anyways. I took pictures of some of my favourite (food-related) things! Here we go...

My personal stash, hidden in a drawer in my room. Included is 85% Lindt dark chocolate, four bean mix (random, I know...), So Good Soy Chocolate milk, Up & Go Energise Milk (high protein), Atkin's protein bars x 2 (Cappuccino Nut & Strawberries & Cream), Growling Dog bar (wildberry), Winner's Gym protein bars (I actually haven't tasted these yet, but found them the other day and thought I'd give them a go), Whittaker's Peanut Slab (15g & 50g varieties) and 1 Lindt Dark Choc Ball. Yeah... I kinda eat too many protein bars, but I love them... they've helped me lose weight in the past, and they taste good.

The other stash.. lol. This one mum and dad eat stuff from too, so it's in the kitchen. We've got here... Roasted broadbeans (so yum! they also come in chick peas, and with a tomatoey flavour), fruit & nut delight bars (one with dark choc ripple and the other not), Be Natural bars (two flavours - currant, berry, oats & pepita / coconut, apricot, oats & chia) and I think one Macadamia & Cranberry bar there at the front. I loooooove love love nut bars of all kinds... it's all good stuff! nuts, dried fruit, and a bit of honey.

Some of my snacks for today... creatine bar (apricot flavour) I ate after boot camp & a protein ball (it tasted kinda like marzipan! yum!)

Breakfast I made for tomorrow... it's a parfait type thing.. layers of oats, then greek yoghurt that I mixed up with chia seeds & cinnamon, layers of berries, a bit of pineapple, and on the top I sprinkled a bit of cocoa powder and some random nuts and seeds.

Another view, just for the hell of it...

And here's my favourite unhealthy food... SCHNITZEL. I love this stuff. Seriously, I cannot get enough of that fried bready crispy crunchyness. I would have it every day if I let myself... had one today and it was aweeeesome. This is all kinds too - vegetarian schnitzel, pork, beef, lamb, veal, eggplant... YUM.

And here's some pineapple I cut up today to add to some smoothies maybe, or just eat as is... had a couple of slices today.

These are like GOLD in Australia right now. Each one of those babies right there is about $2.50 each, so I seriously love my mum right now for buying those for me!!!!

Sultanas. Yep, these are great for adding to my oats and other random stuff. Oh yeah, there was some in my parfait too. I mainly took this pic because of the "99% fat free" thing. Well, duh, they're fruit!!! I hate the tradition that's come out of labelling things that aren't fatty "fat free".

This stuff costs like $6-8, depending where you get it from, and lasts me probably 3-4 days. I think it's because it's imported that it's so expensive, but it's so yum :(

Here's a breakfast I eat very, very often - chocolatey cinnamon oats... these are spelt oats in the pic, with cocoa powder, cinnamon, LSA mix (linseed, sunflower seed, almond meal), and soy milk... possibly other condiments that I can't remember...?

These are yum too, especially as you can eat them raw... I often put them on pizza, or in a wrap, but never really eat them the traditional sausage way!

Today I went for a 7km run, and ohmygosh it was slow... I don't know what was going on but I just couldn't get my legs to happen... lungs were fine, just the legs were failing. Kinda similar to the run on Tuesday? Thursday's run was great though.
It's been a bit hard though as last week and the week before I was at a really full on course where we worked from 7am-9pm most days. I tried to get in a few runs but it meant skimping on sleep. I probably managed to go for 4 decent runs in the two weeks. I suppose that's not too bad but this week I feel like I've lost all my fitness!
I've set up a little plan for myself only increasing my distance by 10% each week so that I get up to the level I'll need for the City to Surf in about 5 weeks time, so hopefully that should go well.

Hmm, today I have eaten so so so much food, it's ridiculous. Almost all healthy, except for the small bag of banana bread pretzels - seriously, who invented those?! Amazing... even more amazing is the lack of anything banana related in the ingredients, yet it tastes like banana. There's not even "artificial flavour", so I fail to understand. Oh well. Lindt 85% is also seriously amazing.

Other running bloggers

So I've been reading a lot of running blogs the past couple of days, and most of them include the most delectable foods - the kind of foods I love to eat, such as peanut butter!
Then I noticed another trend - like 90% of the blogs I really liked involved girls who had disordered eating.

Seriously, it's disturbing how many girls out there have a story like mine, and the more I look, the more I find. Most of them are in the US, though. The main difference of course is that they're all dead skinny, gorgeous and eating lots of great food, whereas I'm borderline overweight, still bingeing, still having disgusting thoughts about food, still stigmatising "bad" food, and not really running as much as I could (because I keep getting injured and sick!)

One thing I've taken away, though, is that I need to be eating more. Especially on the days I exercise. And that I should attempt intuitive eating, and stop counting calories! Oh, to be free of counting... that would be a wonderful day. I keep trying the last couple of days, then freak out and think I've had too much - so I count it all up to check. Arggh!

So exercise is not something I usually have trouble with but since I've been back from Vietnam and not feeling too great, I haven't been doing much but sitting on my bum watching movies or lying in bed... but still eating a fair bit. I'm hoping that when I go away to Melbourne for two weeks for a course I will be feeling a bit better and have more of a chance to get back into it - although the food there is catered, so that will make it a bit harder.

Anyway, I am feeling a bit better today, so plan on a run this afternoon.

Maybe I'll do a bit of food blogging too... so today's breakfast was oats with a bit of Just Right cereal, spoon of cinnamon and a coffee... snacks included a protein bar, apple, one piece Lindt 70% chocolate with a large marshmallow (ate it together - was like rocky road!) and then for lunch a roast beef & cheese sandwich... this is such a bad day of food, honestly, and where's the vegies???! No wonder I feel so sick still - although hopefully will feel better enough later for a run :(

Edit: Hoorah, felt better enough for a run - sort of. Went for 7.81km, but probably ran about 4 km of that. Stomach was having issues. Was going for a decent pace at the start though, pretty happy with it, then had to drop it, and then eventually walk. Oh well, probably too much too soon anyway after feeling off for so long. Then I got home and had a small chocolate milk & some almonds / dried cranberries.

100 Foods Lists

bold are the ones I've had

Vegan:
1. Natto
2. Green Smoothie
3. Tofu Scramble
4. Haggis
5. Mangosteen
6. Creme brulee
7. Fondue
8. Marmite/Vegemite
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Nachos
12. Authentic soba noodles
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Taco from a street cart
16. Boba Tea
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Gyoza
20. Vanilla ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Ceviche
24. Rice and beans
25. Knish
26. Raw scotch bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Caviar
29. Baklava
30. Pate
31. Wasabi peas
32. Chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Mango lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Mulled cider
37. Scones with buttery spread and jam
38. Vodka jelly
39. Gumbo
40. Fast food french fries
41. Raw Brownies
42. Fresh Garbanzo Beans
43. Dahl
44. Homemade Soymilk
45. Wine from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Stroopwafle
47. Samosas
48. Vegetable Sushi
49. Glazed doughnut
50. Seaweed
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Tofurkey
54. Sheese
55. Cotton candy
56. Gnocchi
57. Piña colada
58. Birch beer
59. Scrapple
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Soy curls
63. Chickpea cutlets
64. Curry
65. Durian
66. Homemade Sausages
67. Churros, elephant ears, or funnel cake
68. Smoked tofu
69. Fried plantain
70. Mochi
71. Gazpacho
72. Warm chocolate chip cookies
73. Absinthe
74. Corn on the cob
75. Whipped cream, straight from the can
76. Pomegranate
77. Fauxstess Cupcake
78. Mashed potatoes with gravy
79. Jerky
80. Croissants
81. French onion soup
82. Savory crepes
83. Tings
84. A meal at Candle 79
85. Moussaka
86. Sprouted grains or seeds
87. Macaroni and “cheese”
88. Flowers
89. Matzoh ball soup
90. White chocolate
91. Seitan
92. Kimchi
93. Butterscotch chips
94. Yellow watermelon
95. Chili with chocolate
96. Bagel and Tofutti
97. Potato milk
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Raw cookie dough
60/100

Vegetarian:
1. Real macaroni and cheese, made from scratch and baked
2. Tabouleh
3. Freshly baked bread, straight from the oven
4. Fresh figs
5. Fresh pomegranate
6. Indian dal of any sort
7. Imam bayildi
8. Pressed spiced Chinese tofu
9. Freshly made hummus
10. Tahini
11. Kimchi
12. Miso
13. Falafel
14. Potato and pea filled samosas
15. Homemade yogurt
16. Muhammara
17. Brie en croute
18. Spanikopita
19. Fresh, vine-ripened heirloom tomatoes
20. Insalata caprese
21. Stir-fried greens (gai lan, bok choi, pea shoots, kale, chard or collards)
22. Freshly made salsa
23. Freshly made guacamole
24. Creme brulee
25. Fava beans
26. Chinese cold sesame peanut noodles
27. Fattoush
28. New potatoes
29. Coleslaw
30. Ratatouille
31. Baba ganoush
32. Winter squash
33. Roasted beets
34. Baked sweet potatoes
35. Plantains
36. Chocolate truffles
37. Garlic mashed potatoes
38. Fresh water chestnuts
39. Steel cut oats
40. Quinoa
41. Grilled portabello mushrooms
42. Chipotle en adobo
43. Stone ground whole grain cornmeal
44. Freshly made corn or wheat tortillas
45. Frittata
46. Basil pesto
47. Roasted garlic
48. Raita of any type
49. Mango lassi
50. Jasmine rice (white or brown)
51. Thai vegetarian coconut milk curry
52. Pumpkin in any form other than pie
53. Fresh apple pear or plum gallette
54. Quince in any form
55. Escarole, endive or arugula
56. Sprouts other than mung bean
57. Naturally brewed soy sauce
58. Dried shiitake mushrooms
59. Unusually colored vegetables (purple cauliflower, blue potatoes, chocolate bell peppers…)
60. Fresh peach ice cream
61. Chevre
62. Medjool dates
63. Kheer
64. Flourless chocolate cake
65. Grilled corn on the cob
66. Black bean (or any other bean) vegetarian chili
67. Tempeh
68. Seitan or wheat gluten
69. Gorgonzola or any other blue veined cheese
70. Sweet potato fries
71. Homemade au gratin potatoes
72. Cream of asparagus soup
73. Artichoke-Parmesan dip
74. Mushroom risotto
75. Fermented black beans
76. Garlic scapes
77. Fresh new baby peas
78. Kalamata olives
79. Preserved lemons
80. Fried green tomatoes
81. Chinese scallion pancakes
82. Cheese souffle
83. Fried apples
84. Homemade frijoles refritos
85. Pasta fagiole
86. Macadamia nuts in any form
87. Paw paw in any form
88. Grilled cheese sandwich of any kind
89. Paneer cheese
90. Ma Po Tofu (vegetarian style–no pork!)
91. Fresh pasta in any form
92. Grilled leeks, scallions or ramps
93. Green papaya salad
94. Baked grain and vegetable stuffed tomatoes
95. Pickled ginger
96. Methi greens
97. Aloo paratha
98. Kedgeree (the original Indian version without the smoked fish, not the British version with fish)
99. Okra
100. Roasted brussels sprouts56/100

Omnivores:
1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu or shaojiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake
52/100