WIAW, WIWW, WIWW

(What I ate Wednesday, What I wore Wednesday, What I worked Wednesday)

Woohoo my favourite blog day of the week!

Already been drooling over many of the blog foods posted so far...

So at 6.30 this morning I was happily munching away on my oats (a fairly boring mix of 1/2 cup oats, 1 cup hazelnut chocolate milk, and a few spices (cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg) when my mum came in my room with...

My Amazon package!!! I ordered this September 9... so I have been stalking the letterbox ever since then, and it FINALLY arrived. YAY! Umm, excuse the bed hair.

It consisted of these three books. Awesome timing, just in time for exam week and procrastination... I did manage about five hours of study today though.

I also happened to buy this book yesterday while partaking in retail therapy.

And these magazines... think there was another one, but I couldn't find it at the time of taking the picture.

So this is my super-hot outfit for the day... pyjamas! Well, the pants and shirt are. The jacket is just a random jacket I decided to wear over my pyjamas. And sooo matching too! (P.S. Purple is awesome.)

I did actually manage to get out of the pyjamas to go to a BodyPump class at 10.30 am. It was a good class, but the bicep track was super easy for once, although maybe that's because the instructor turned the music up really loud and started singing in a whiney voice, so I was busier trying to block that out... abs are killing me though!! 

(I totally got back into my PJs after BodyPump)

Second workout of the day was kickboxing tonight, which was an all boxing night.. but we did a bit of sparring at the end and I went with a guy who managed to get in a good kick to my kidney, stomach and a good punch to my face... yowzer! The instructor said I did good fighting back though, so yay! I also entered myself into the tournament at the beginning of Nov. I entered as a novice though since I've been away from training for three years. Can't wait!

Part of my daily routine always includes hugs with the kitty, so here's a pic of him chilling out on my lap...

One of my snacks. These are good!

One of my pumpkin / almond muffins with ABC spread on top.

Self-explanatory snack bar :D

This was my lunch (PB & marmalade)... I dunno, I felt like a lot of simple stuff today because my tummy is not feeling right the last couple of days (Not just from all the situps, though!)

Dinner was a beef stir fry and rice and vegies. I think there were other snacks in there too that I forgot to take pics of. Oh well!

All or Nothing

This is somewhat of a "negative nancy" or "debbie downer" post *and there may be triggering material*, but I'm getting increasingly frustrated at several things. First, my perfectionist attitude. Last semester at uni, I got all high distinctions, and was upset because they were not 90% high distinctions, but 80%. This semester I know I can't get high distinctions and therefore I don't feel like putting the effort in. What's the point if I can't get the highest mark? I know I've already passed all my topics before the exams, so that motivation isn't there either.

Then I did a fitness test this morning. I got the exact same score for 2.4 km (1.6 miles) of 12:40 mins as I did last year, when I was way more unfit(?) and doing way less running... it just frustrated me, especially as I definitely did not hold back this morning!

Also this morning I weighed myself and I had gained 1kg (2 pounds) from last week. Which makes my BMI now 24.5. (Much too close to overweight category for my liking...) This is beginning to be a really irritating constant struggle for me. Gain, lose, gain, lose, gain, lose, gain... it's the same as maintaining, I suppose, but it's almost like... one week am I doing it right, and the next I'm not? Or is that just normal fluctuation of maintaining? Am I eating enough, too much? Am I exercising enough? What am I doing wrong? Sometimes I think... well, the only thing that has ever worked for me to lose weight has been eating disorders, so maybe I should just do that again. But then my rational brain takes over, and says hell no! No WAY am I going back to that.

Anyway, I know I've lost it healthily before, but that was before I had ever known about calorie counting. I think it's pretty difficult once you have calorie counted for a long time to stop. After all, even if you do stop, you still know the calorie, fat, carb content of the majority of the food you eat from counting it for so long. I've tried stopping so many times, but I can't help but still count in my head. Or I go the other way and eat way too little or too much.

It doesn't even seem to make a difference when I make small changes, like increase intensity of exercise slightly / amount, or eat slightly less, or eat slightly more. I've tried all these little experiments... the main one I did was eating at "maintenance" calories for a month or two - which made me gain two kilos (4.5 pounds) which I just cannot lose again (A really GREAT experiment that was.... :( )

Even when I went on that hike for a week last month, and did 30 hours of hiking in a week.. I lost nothing.

I should not be still obsessed with my weight, because I am supposed to be recovered. I mean, I'm not obsessed the way I used to be... but I think it's just hard the days I weigh myself more than anything. At least now I'm doing exercise because I enjoy it rather than to burn calories. Honestly, I am so deeply in love with running and kickboxing right now. If only I could do it more often than I do! I've been sore a lot lately.

Because I don't like being a negative nancy for too long... I went to the shops for retail therapy... and bought TWO new running shorts, THREE running magazines, and some other stuff. One of my pairs of shorts is fluro orange :D How do you spell fluro, because blogger says that's incorrect?

So one of my plans is to incorporate more HIIT into my training schedule... I'm just not sure where to fit it... this is another problem of mine. How do I fit in one week:

Running x 3  (at the moment just increasing mileage, but eventually want 1 x long, 1 x intervals in that)
Kickboxing x 3
Weights x 2
Swimming x 1 (I use this to work on my breathing / as a recovery)
HIIT x 1
Yoga x 1 (usually after long run day)
Rest day x 1

... That's 11 days worth of workouts! Unless I double up on four of those days, it doesn't really work. There's the all or nothing again... this is kind of what I did before I got my ED - running every day, kickboxing every night.

OK... / end confusing rant.