I have come to the conclusion that I need to ban myself temporarily from grocery shopping. With all the free time I've had since being on uni break, I have seriously been to the grocery store FIVE times this week... there were so many new products that I had to buy... like, I actually can't leave a new product on the shelf. I'm beginning to think it's a problem!!! I have spent a ridiculous amount of money on food I do not need! Of course it will get eaten but there is already plenty of food in my house.
I am going to *attempt* to fill the grocery shopping time with going for a daily walk instead, every day of December (Unless I'm going for a run that day, in which case I will run). This ties in with my (again) efforts to try and lose weight. I want to do it, but there's no pressing need. I'm in the healthy weight range, it's just that I have put on 8 kg since last year (I have no idea how... but moving back in with the parents probably didn't help) and my clothes don't fit the way they used to. Losing the 8 kg again will still put me in the healthy weight range, considering I am right at the upper end at the moment.
My plan is to hopefully see a dietician, as all of this "eat back your exercise calories" "don't eat back your exercise calories" and conflicting information all over the place has confused the hell out of me, to the point where I seem to switch between the two and probably confuse the hell out of my body. Obviously 1 year of uni has not taught me enough yet to figure out how to do it myself!
As well as that, continuing on with increasing my running mileage should help + more weights sessions...
I'm sure this blog entry had a point, I just can't remember what it was... anyway, the sea breeze is now in so it's time for a walk. (36'C / 96'F today!!)
A blog about my journey to become a faster, better runner.
Showing posts with label weight loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weight loss. Show all posts
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Challenging myself.
So I'm back from my two week trip into the bushes of Australia. As per the previous post on Introversion, it was not all sunshine and roses. Far from it.
The challenges I thought I would have the trouble with was eating unhealthy food and not being able to exercise. In reality the most trouble I had revolved around being bored and dealing with an extremely arrogant, chauvinistic pig who was basically a "workplace bully".
The food challenge went really, really well though. I ended up eating m & ms a couple of times, usually a forbidden type of food. Takeaway pizza one night. Went out for dinner twice - once I ordered steak with fries and ate them all, another time I had deep fried zucchini "balls" (with salad). I also went out drinking with the boys - after which I had bacon and eggs. I also ate the most forbidden food of them all in my mind - a donut. The good part about it though, is that while I felt guilty each time I ate these unhealthy foods, I did not beat myself up about it (too much) or dwell on it to a large degree.
I was not able to work off anything I ate. We were not allowed to wear anything but our uniform and as I only had two pairs and we had no access to showers.... yeah. It would have also been too difficult as we couldn't leave the small square area of bush we were based in, so unless I ran 100 m back and forth!! I decided to just use the two weeks as a break / rest. Although I suspect it will be VERY difficult to get back into it all. It always is after a break! My plan tomorrow is to go for an easy run and just see how I feel, run as many k's as my legs feel good for.
The weirdest part of all? After eating rubbish food and doing NO exercise for two weeks... I lost 1.6 kilos (3.6 pounds). Honestly, every time I do something like this, I ALWAYS lose weight. It's really confusing and frustrating. While I know when I'm away I don't count calories and tend to eat a little more intuitively, it still doesn't seem to make sense that I can eat food with no nutritional value and generally treat my body in a crappier way yet it responds with weight loss. Then I go back home and return to my normal ways and it comes back on.
I usually either respond by attempting to eat more intuitively when I get home (usually backfires and ends up with weight gain) or increase my calories to match what I thought I was eating when away (usually ends up with weight gain too). Hopefully it's not muscle loss or something, and that's the reason why I always lose when I go away somewhere and then it returns when I resume exercising. Hmm... curious.
I will be back tomorrow with a WIAW post. I'm probably going to be eating some sort of "detox" kind of foods. I'm not into the whole detox thing, but basically I mean getting back to eating healthier wholesome foods to rid my body of all the processed rubbish I've been eating. Had a lunch for my grandma's birthday today and there was lots of salad and fruit salad, so that was a great start. I missed fresh food!!!
The challenges I thought I would have the trouble with was eating unhealthy food and not being able to exercise. In reality the most trouble I had revolved around being bored and dealing with an extremely arrogant, chauvinistic pig who was basically a "workplace bully".
The food challenge went really, really well though. I ended up eating m & ms a couple of times, usually a forbidden type of food. Takeaway pizza one night. Went out for dinner twice - once I ordered steak with fries and ate them all, another time I had deep fried zucchini "balls" (with salad). I also went out drinking with the boys - after which I had bacon and eggs. I also ate the most forbidden food of them all in my mind - a donut. The good part about it though, is that while I felt guilty each time I ate these unhealthy foods, I did not beat myself up about it (too much) or dwell on it to a large degree.
I was not able to work off anything I ate. We were not allowed to wear anything but our uniform and as I only had two pairs and we had no access to showers.... yeah. It would have also been too difficult as we couldn't leave the small square area of bush we were based in, so unless I ran 100 m back and forth!! I decided to just use the two weeks as a break / rest. Although I suspect it will be VERY difficult to get back into it all. It always is after a break! My plan tomorrow is to go for an easy run and just see how I feel, run as many k's as my legs feel good for.
The weirdest part of all? After eating rubbish food and doing NO exercise for two weeks... I lost 1.6 kilos (3.6 pounds). Honestly, every time I do something like this, I ALWAYS lose weight. It's really confusing and frustrating. While I know when I'm away I don't count calories and tend to eat a little more intuitively, it still doesn't seem to make sense that I can eat food with no nutritional value and generally treat my body in a crappier way yet it responds with weight loss. Then I go back home and return to my normal ways and it comes back on.
I usually either respond by attempting to eat more intuitively when I get home (usually backfires and ends up with weight gain) or increase my calories to match what I thought I was eating when away (usually ends up with weight gain too). Hopefully it's not muscle loss or something, and that's the reason why I always lose when I go away somewhere and then it returns when I resume exercising. Hmm... curious.
I will be back tomorrow with a WIAW post. I'm probably going to be eating some sort of "detox" kind of foods. I'm not into the whole detox thing, but basically I mean getting back to eating healthier wholesome foods to rid my body of all the processed rubbish I've been eating. Had a lunch for my grandma's birthday today and there was lots of salad and fruit salad, so that was a great start. I missed fresh food!!!
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
All or Nothing
This is somewhat of a "negative nancy" or "debbie downer" post *and there may be triggering material*, but I'm getting increasingly frustrated at several things. First, my perfectionist attitude. Last semester at uni, I got all high distinctions, and was upset because they were not 90% high distinctions, but 80%. This semester I know I can't get high distinctions and therefore I don't feel like putting the effort in. What's the point if I can't get the highest mark? I know I've already passed all my topics before the exams, so that motivation isn't there either.
Then I did a fitness test this morning. I got the exact same score for 2.4 km (1.6 miles) of 12:40 mins as I did last year, when I was way more unfit(?) and doing way less running... it just frustrated me, especially as I definitely did not hold back this morning!
Also this morning I weighed myself and I had gained 1kg (2 pounds) from last week. Which makes my BMI now 24.5. (Much too close to overweight category for my liking...) This is beginning to be a really irritating constant struggle for me. Gain, lose, gain, lose, gain, lose, gain... it's the same as maintaining, I suppose, but it's almost like... one week am I doing it right, and the next I'm not? Or is that just normal fluctuation of maintaining? Am I eating enough, too much? Am I exercising enough? What am I doing wrong? Sometimes I think... well, the only thing that has ever worked for me to lose weight has been eating disorders, so maybe I should just do that again. But then my rational brain takes over, and says hell no! No WAY am I going back to that.
Anyway, I know I've lost it healthily before, but that was before I had ever known about calorie counting. I think it's pretty difficult once you have calorie counted for a long time to stop. After all, even if you do stop, you still know the calorie, fat, carb content of the majority of the food you eat from counting it for so long. I've tried stopping so many times, but I can't help but still count in my head. Or I go the other way and eat way too little or too much.
It doesn't even seem to make a difference when I make small changes, like increase intensity of exercise slightly / amount, or eat slightly less, or eat slightly more. I've tried all these little experiments... the main one I did was eating at "maintenance" calories for a month or two - which made me gain two kilos (4.5 pounds) which I just cannot lose again (A really GREAT experiment that was.... :( )
Even when I went on that hike for a week last month, and did 30 hours of hiking in a week.. I lost nothing.
I should not be still obsessed with my weight, because I am supposed to be recovered. I mean, I'm not obsessed the way I used to be... but I think it's just hard the days I weigh myself more than anything. At least now I'm doing exercise because I enjoy it rather than to burn calories. Honestly, I am so deeply in love with running and kickboxing right now. If only I could do it more often than I do! I've been sore a lot lately.
Because I don't like being a negative nancy for too long... I went to the shops for retail therapy... and bought TWO new running shorts, THREE running magazines, and some other stuff. One of my pairs of shorts is fluro orange :D How do you spell fluro, because blogger says that's incorrect?
So one of my plans is to incorporate more HIIT into my training schedule... I'm just not sure where to fit it... this is another problem of mine. How do I fit in one week:
Running x 3 (at the moment just increasing mileage, but eventually want 1 x long, 1 x intervals in that)
Kickboxing x 3
Weights x 2
Swimming x 1 (I use this to work on my breathing / as a recovery)
HIIT x 1
Yoga x 1 (usually after long run day)
Rest day x 1
... That's 11 days worth of workouts! Unless I double up on four of those days, it doesn't really work. There's the all or nothing again... this is kind of what I did before I got my ED - running every day, kickboxing every night.
OK... / end confusing rant.
Then I did a fitness test this morning. I got the exact same score for 2.4 km (1.6 miles) of 12:40 mins as I did last year, when I was way more unfit(?) and doing way less running... it just frustrated me, especially as I definitely did not hold back this morning!
Also this morning I weighed myself and I had gained 1kg (2 pounds) from last week. Which makes my BMI now 24.5. (Much too close to overweight category for my liking...) This is beginning to be a really irritating constant struggle for me. Gain, lose, gain, lose, gain, lose, gain... it's the same as maintaining, I suppose, but it's almost like... one week am I doing it right, and the next I'm not? Or is that just normal fluctuation of maintaining? Am I eating enough, too much? Am I exercising enough? What am I doing wrong? Sometimes I think... well, the only thing that has ever worked for me to lose weight has been eating disorders, so maybe I should just do that again. But then my rational brain takes over, and says hell no! No WAY am I going back to that.
Anyway, I know I've lost it healthily before, but that was before I had ever known about calorie counting. I think it's pretty difficult once you have calorie counted for a long time to stop. After all, even if you do stop, you still know the calorie, fat, carb content of the majority of the food you eat from counting it for so long. I've tried stopping so many times, but I can't help but still count in my head. Or I go the other way and eat way too little or too much.
It doesn't even seem to make a difference when I make small changes, like increase intensity of exercise slightly / amount, or eat slightly less, or eat slightly more. I've tried all these little experiments... the main one I did was eating at "maintenance" calories for a month or two - which made me gain two kilos (4.5 pounds) which I just cannot lose again (A really GREAT experiment that was.... :( )
Even when I went on that hike for a week last month, and did 30 hours of hiking in a week.. I lost nothing.
I should not be still obsessed with my weight, because I am supposed to be recovered. I mean, I'm not obsessed the way I used to be... but I think it's just hard the days I weigh myself more than anything. At least now I'm doing exercise because I enjoy it rather than to burn calories. Honestly, I am so deeply in love with running and kickboxing right now. If only I could do it more often than I do! I've been sore a lot lately.
Because I don't like being a negative nancy for too long... I went to the shops for retail therapy... and bought TWO new running shorts, THREE running magazines, and some other stuff. One of my pairs of shorts is fluro orange :D How do you spell fluro, because blogger says that's incorrect?
So one of my plans is to incorporate more HIIT into my training schedule... I'm just not sure where to fit it... this is another problem of mine. How do I fit in one week:
Running x 3 (at the moment just increasing mileage, but eventually want 1 x long, 1 x intervals in that)
Kickboxing x 3
Weights x 2
Swimming x 1 (I use this to work on my breathing / as a recovery)
HIIT x 1
Yoga x 1 (usually after long run day)
Rest day x 1
... That's 11 days worth of workouts! Unless I double up on four of those days, it doesn't really work. There's the all or nothing again... this is kind of what I did before I got my ED - running every day, kickboxing every night.
OK... / end confusing rant.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Losing weight again
So I've been thinking again... I want to lose this weight I've gained. It's only about 5-8 kg to get back down to what I was not so long ago, but it's driving me batty.
[DISCLAIMER: I am actually bordering on overweight, so although I've had an ED, I'm trying to lose healthy now...]
So I've rethought a few things, and instead of trying to eat intuitively and making myself eat fear foods - I think I'm getting better at that - it's back to trying to lose the weight, since I now have a healthier relationship with food. I've been thinking about different ways of doing this and I've come up with (believe it or not) less exercise to start with - slowly increasing it as I go.
 |
| My favourite lunch at uni... usually includes a range of this selection: falafel balls, egg, tuna, carrot, sprouts, olives, chick peas, mixed nuts, dried fruit, baby spinach, beetroot, couscous salad, pasta salad etc. |
I think I've gone about exercise the wrong way a lot of the time, going all out and overdoing it, burning myself out, injuring myself, that kind of thing. So this week all I have done is gone on two short runs and two short walks, tomorrow I'm doing a 5km run. So three runs, two walks. Feels pretty lazy at the moment but I'm going to slowly work it up. As for the food side of it, I'm not "restricting" as such, but changing the macros - instead of what I've currently been having (roughly 35% fat, 45% carbs and 20% protein), I'll be trying to switch it to 20% fat, 50% carbs and 30% protein. Hoping the extra protein will keep me fuller so I'll eat less - only reducing by 100-200 calories a day. So far today was difficult (mainly keeping the fat down - I love my fats!) but I managed it, with the help of my friend protein powder. Speaking of...
Found this today, YAY SOY, means I can actually have some without belly issues :D Plus it's chocolate flavour, I was a bit over that vanilla flavour I had.
My delicious breakfast, which was a melted banana mixed in with oats, coconut vanilla butter, raisins, chia seeds and cinnamon.
Lunch - Two pieces sprouted grain bread spread with a small amount of basil pesto, 1 egg, some baby spinach and mushrooms lightly fried with cajun seasoning.
* Just so you know, that isn't all I ate today - just didn't take pics of anything else ;)
I also found these at the supermarket yesterday, and they are SO DELICIOUS. Poppyseed and orange is always a good combination - and the bar is just fruit with poppyseeds :) Yay!
This was also a new product I found, banana and honey soy milk in tetra packs :D Should come in handy...
Oh and I bought this singlet from Cotton On Body, ha, I thought it was such a great play on words... don't get me wrong, I do love the treadmill occasionally, but you aren't actually going anywhere when you're on one ;) I thought it would be fun to wear when I actually go on the treadmill... OK, call me lame :P
Tomorrow I'm doing by first 5 km race... I know, weird, because I've done 3 12kms, 1 10km and two 14 km, but I've never done a 5k! I really want to actually get to the 30 minute mark, that shall be my goal, but of course any quicker would be nice... not expecting to break any records but my own! Looking forward to it!
Monday, September 19, 2011
Blisters and Natural beauty?
I'm baaaack...
I had a fantastic time bushwalking through the south west of Australia, it is such an amazingly beautiful part of the world and such untouched beauty!
The four of us got along really well and we had a great time.
In the end, we managed this:
Day 1: 31.2 km (~ 7 hrs)
Day 2: 26.1 km (~ 7 hrs)
Day 3: 22.7 km (9 + hrs)
Day 4: 10 km (5-6 hrs)
Total: 90 km.
The reasons for the progressively slower timings?? Bad planning... Me and the other girl on the trip had horrendous blisters by the end of day 1, which just slowly got worse. One of the other guys stuffed up his knees. So the three of us pretty much limped about 60 km of that entire walk. It is the furtherest I have ever pushed my body beyond pain. We were seriously walking less than 2 km an hour by the last day, and it was really, really slow going. I am really pleased with the fact that even with painful blisters and really tight calves, we still pushed our bodies, still kept going and it was really amazing how much your body will put up with!
I also saw my first snake in the wild and didn't totally lose it, although I did scream one night on a trip to the long-drop toilet when I heard a noise as I opened the door.
The terrain was constantly changing - beginning with tall trees and fallen leaves underfoot, changing to beach flora and fauna and constant undulating terrain - enough to drive you batty. Seriously, the day of 22.7 km (day 3) was so painful. There was about 3+ hours of non-stop up-down-up-down-up-down the sand dunes, and one GIGANTIC mountain of a sand dune which was like, 1 km long and took us about an hour!! It is seriously hard work climbing those dunes!
I was planning to upload some pictures but I'm short for time. So this will do for now.
Oh, and despite over 30 hours of exercise in one week, I lost only 1 kilogram. I'd like to hope that means that I ate well enough to support all the exercise, but I know that I actually didn't eat enough... so what is going on there, I don't know, but I feel better about myself anyway and lots of cardiovascular fitness likely gained from the endless hills!
Ahh, and for this week?
Monday: Rest
Tuesday: Yoga & 3 km easy run (not sure how this will go due to one blister on my big toe being infected and extremely large...?)
Wednesday: BodyPump
Thursday: Hill run 3km
Friday: cross/trainer & BodyPump
Saturday: swimming 30 mins
Sunday: 5km race
I had a fantastic time bushwalking through the south west of Australia, it is such an amazingly beautiful part of the world and such untouched beauty!
The four of us got along really well and we had a great time.
In the end, we managed this:
Day 1: 31.2 km (~ 7 hrs)
Day 2: 26.1 km (~ 7 hrs)
Day 3: 22.7 km (9 + hrs)
Day 4: 10 km (5-6 hrs)
Total: 90 km.
The reasons for the progressively slower timings?? Bad planning... Me and the other girl on the trip had horrendous blisters by the end of day 1, which just slowly got worse. One of the other guys stuffed up his knees. So the three of us pretty much limped about 60 km of that entire walk. It is the furtherest I have ever pushed my body beyond pain. We were seriously walking less than 2 km an hour by the last day, and it was really, really slow going. I am really pleased with the fact that even with painful blisters and really tight calves, we still pushed our bodies, still kept going and it was really amazing how much your body will put up with!
I also saw my first snake in the wild and didn't totally lose it, although I did scream one night on a trip to the long-drop toilet when I heard a noise as I opened the door.
The terrain was constantly changing - beginning with tall trees and fallen leaves underfoot, changing to beach flora and fauna and constant undulating terrain - enough to drive you batty. Seriously, the day of 22.7 km (day 3) was so painful. There was about 3+ hours of non-stop up-down-up-down-up-down the sand dunes, and one GIGANTIC mountain of a sand dune which was like, 1 km long and took us about an hour!! It is seriously hard work climbing those dunes!
I was planning to upload some pictures but I'm short for time. So this will do for now.
Oh, and despite over 30 hours of exercise in one week, I lost only 1 kilogram. I'd like to hope that means that I ate well enough to support all the exercise, but I know that I actually didn't eat enough... so what is going on there, I don't know, but I feel better about myself anyway and lots of cardiovascular fitness likely gained from the endless hills!
Ahh, and for this week?
Monday: Rest
Tuesday: Yoga & 3 km easy run (not sure how this will go due to one blister on my big toe being infected and extremely large...?)
Wednesday: BodyPump
Thursday: Hill run 3km
Friday: cross/trainer & BodyPump
Saturday: swimming 30 mins
Sunday: 5km race
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Today I feel fat and gross. I tried on some clothes and looked in the full-length mirror, and three weeks of boot camp, I swear, has made me fatter. I'm not more toned or anything... my stomach is bloated as hell and I looked gross. I went to the gym this morning and went on the elliptical for 25 mins, ran for 15, rowing 5 mins and bike 10 mins... only put effort in for the run & elliptical though, the rest was like a cool down. Was a good workout, but my shins hurt a bit on the treadmill :(
I don't get why the more exercise I do, the fatter I seem to get. I mean, I'm not "fat", but my legs are getting leaner while my bum and stomach are getting bigger. Your stomach is supposed to be where the fat goes when you eat unhealthy fats. I so don't understand. One day, I will understand how it all works. You'd think studying nutrition and having an obsessive nature with food and exercise and teaching myself stuff about it would be able to lose weight the healthy way, but no, it still puzzles me.
I do no exercise and eat bad, I usually lose weight. Every time I go away somewhere like a holiday or a course, I usually lose weight. At home, I gain a kilo, lose a kilo, gain a kilo, lose a kilo, every single week, and it drives me mad!!! I've been very consistent with my exercise too (maybe not the intensity, but working out 3-5x a week, every week, for at least two years). and I eat all healthy food. I admit, I probably eat a lot, but this is because I'm still disordered with my eating... but it shouldn't be too much when you think of all the exercising I'm doing.
ARRGH!
Well, that went off on a complete tangent.
What was my initial point? I'm not really sure now... I'm planning on returning to kickboxing, maybe this week, as they've offered a "50% off for returning students" deal. As I was wanting to return anyway and money was the issue... it's like they're TELLING me to go back. Anyways... I'm gonna stop whingeing now. I'm seriously not having a good day - spent my morning feeling fat, as well as 5.5 hrs of studying anatomy. Good times :(
Will hopefully not spend my night binging...
I don't get why the more exercise I do, the fatter I seem to get. I mean, I'm not "fat", but my legs are getting leaner while my bum and stomach are getting bigger. Your stomach is supposed to be where the fat goes when you eat unhealthy fats. I so don't understand. One day, I will understand how it all works. You'd think studying nutrition and having an obsessive nature with food and exercise and teaching myself stuff about it would be able to lose weight the healthy way, but no, it still puzzles me.
I do no exercise and eat bad, I usually lose weight. Every time I go away somewhere like a holiday or a course, I usually lose weight. At home, I gain a kilo, lose a kilo, gain a kilo, lose a kilo, every single week, and it drives me mad!!! I've been very consistent with my exercise too (maybe not the intensity, but working out 3-5x a week, every week, for at least two years). and I eat all healthy food. I admit, I probably eat a lot, but this is because I'm still disordered with my eating... but it shouldn't be too much when you think of all the exercising I'm doing.
ARRGH!
Well, that went off on a complete tangent.
What was my initial point? I'm not really sure now... I'm planning on returning to kickboxing, maybe this week, as they've offered a "50% off for returning students" deal. As I was wanting to return anyway and money was the issue... it's like they're TELLING me to go back. Anyways... I'm gonna stop whingeing now. I'm seriously not having a good day - spent my morning feeling fat, as well as 5.5 hrs of studying anatomy. Good times :(
Will hopefully not spend my night binging...
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Went for a 5k yesterday, almost hit the 30 min mark. Sigh, haha. All these runner's blogs who I read, and they do it in like 18 mins!! Almost double!! How??? That is insanely fast. Granted, if I could lose these stubborn kilos I'd probably knock a few minutes off... but only a few...
Anyway... shins are still a little tender. Weight still staying much the same...
Hmm. Not really that much to report actually. It was so so so so cold this morning at boot camp, and I don't deal well with the cold. My hands were so freezing they were hurting, and I just couldn't deal!! We had fake rifles, and they were icy as... instead of doing squats with the "rifle" above my head I would be rubbing my hands together, or when we were supposed to run with it above our head, I held it at my waist with my hands tucked into my jacket... consequently probably a pretty shitty workout but my hands reaaaaally hurt... I'm such a woos haha. Oh well, I made up for it with my run yesterday, because it was a decent pace... kinda still feeling it this morning anyway which may have also affected my performance. Sigh. Tomorrow a "rest" day, with my walk to the train station, and Friday back at boot camp... this weekend I'm thinking a nice swim and some yoga might be in order. I miss my swimming! And yoga is needed for the sore legs...
Wow I'm boring myself... so I'll end this.
Anyway... shins are still a little tender. Weight still staying much the same...
Hmm. Not really that much to report actually. It was so so so so cold this morning at boot camp, and I don't deal well with the cold. My hands were so freezing they were hurting, and I just couldn't deal!! We had fake rifles, and they were icy as... instead of doing squats with the "rifle" above my head I would be rubbing my hands together, or when we were supposed to run with it above our head, I held it at my waist with my hands tucked into my jacket... consequently probably a pretty shitty workout but my hands reaaaaally hurt... I'm such a woos haha. Oh well, I made up for it with my run yesterday, because it was a decent pace... kinda still feeling it this morning anyway which may have also affected my performance. Sigh. Tomorrow a "rest" day, with my walk to the train station, and Friday back at boot camp... this weekend I'm thinking a nice swim and some yoga might be in order. I miss my swimming! And yoga is needed for the sore legs...
Wow I'm boring myself... so I'll end this.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)