Exam cramming and strength workouts

Ramble ramble ramble... I don't feel like doing WIAW today because I ate nothing interesting. Except pink chicken, waiting to get sick now...

Today was my anatomy exam, and I think I did OK... there were a few more questions that I guessed than I would like... but I definitely did not leave any questions with blank answer fields! Always gotta guess something just in case.... ;)
There were 140 questions so a couple that I was unsure of isn't too bad I suppose, when there's that many!!

I spent the first four hours of today doing a bit of a cram session... I know a lot of people say that doing this is bad, but I think combined with many weeks of studying, it can be a great strategy. There's always last minute things that you see and go, ahh, I didn't study that area too well - and having it just stay in your brain for another couple of hours is good enough for the exam. Or you might revise a bit more on a weak area. Cramming is great, if you ask me. Doing it the night before, not so much. But the few hours before - yes.

After my exam I went to the gym and did 10 mins on the elliptical before I was bored out of my mind, then I went for about 5 mins on the rower but put in a really good effort...

'Twas mainly a strength workout though for ~ 30 mins:
Dead lifts 2 x 15 (20kg)

Shoulder lifty thing 2 x 15 (What is this called again?) (20kg)

Pulldown machine 2 x 15 (Level 5)

Upright row 2 x 5 (20kg)

Biceps 2 x 15 (3kg each hand)

Chest press 3 x 15 (6 kg each hand)

Tricep press x 30 (on bench)

Situps 45 (on fit ball)

Lunges 45 (w/6 kg in hands)

Pushups 45 (on toes)

Plank 1 min

30 oblique situps

Yeah, I'm no good at strength workouts without BodyPump! I end up just doing random things that I remember from BodyPump, and tend to leave out large areas (like I forgot to do squats, and only 10 rows?) I need to write some kind of program down and bring it in with me... but I'm happy I did it, because I skip my strength workouts a lot... just doesn't have the same appeal as cardio stuff! 


And I kinda tend to judge people at the gym. Does anyone else do this? People who are on the bikes going super slow, chatting to their friends. What's the point? And all the guys "spotting" with their friends just look gay, in my opinion. In general I just find the gym a place full of superficial, boring people. I'd much rather be outdoors pounding the pavement / grass / whatever, swimming in the ocean, cycling outdoors, bushwalking in the... well, bush.... kickboxing in a ring. The gym is just so... stuffy!! But necessary, d'oh!


Tonight we were meant to have a dinner for my brother's birthday, so I didn't have anything else planned. Now I'm thinking I might go to kickboxing training, although I'll see how I feel later on. It's so annoying that it's at 7.45pm!


Also... my love for the show Mystery Diagnosis actually helped me in exams :D Woooooo!

All or Nothing

This is somewhat of a "negative nancy" or "debbie downer" post *and there may be triggering material*, but I'm getting increasingly frustrated at several things. First, my perfectionist attitude. Last semester at uni, I got all high distinctions, and was upset because they were not 90% high distinctions, but 80%. This semester I know I can't get high distinctions and therefore I don't feel like putting the effort in. What's the point if I can't get the highest mark? I know I've already passed all my topics before the exams, so that motivation isn't there either.

Then I did a fitness test this morning. I got the exact same score for 2.4 km (1.6 miles) of 12:40 mins as I did last year, when I was way more unfit(?) and doing way less running... it just frustrated me, especially as I definitely did not hold back this morning!

Also this morning I weighed myself and I had gained 1kg (2 pounds) from last week. Which makes my BMI now 24.5. (Much too close to overweight category for my liking...) This is beginning to be a really irritating constant struggle for me. Gain, lose, gain, lose, gain, lose, gain... it's the same as maintaining, I suppose, but it's almost like... one week am I doing it right, and the next I'm not? Or is that just normal fluctuation of maintaining? Am I eating enough, too much? Am I exercising enough? What am I doing wrong? Sometimes I think... well, the only thing that has ever worked for me to lose weight has been eating disorders, so maybe I should just do that again. But then my rational brain takes over, and says hell no! No WAY am I going back to that.

Anyway, I know I've lost it healthily before, but that was before I had ever known about calorie counting. I think it's pretty difficult once you have calorie counted for a long time to stop. After all, even if you do stop, you still know the calorie, fat, carb content of the majority of the food you eat from counting it for so long. I've tried stopping so many times, but I can't help but still count in my head. Or I go the other way and eat way too little or too much.

It doesn't even seem to make a difference when I make small changes, like increase intensity of exercise slightly / amount, or eat slightly less, or eat slightly more. I've tried all these little experiments... the main one I did was eating at "maintenance" calories for a month or two - which made me gain two kilos (4.5 pounds) which I just cannot lose again (A really GREAT experiment that was.... :( )

Even when I went on that hike for a week last month, and did 30 hours of hiking in a week.. I lost nothing.

I should not be still obsessed with my weight, because I am supposed to be recovered. I mean, I'm not obsessed the way I used to be... but I think it's just hard the days I weigh myself more than anything. At least now I'm doing exercise because I enjoy it rather than to burn calories. Honestly, I am so deeply in love with running and kickboxing right now. If only I could do it more often than I do! I've been sore a lot lately.

Because I don't like being a negative nancy for too long... I went to the shops for retail therapy... and bought TWO new running shorts, THREE running magazines, and some other stuff. One of my pairs of shorts is fluro orange :D How do you spell fluro, because blogger says that's incorrect?

So one of my plans is to incorporate more HIIT into my training schedule... I'm just not sure where to fit it... this is another problem of mine. How do I fit in one week:

Running x 3  (at the moment just increasing mileage, but eventually want 1 x long, 1 x intervals in that)
Kickboxing x 3
Weights x 2
Swimming x 1 (I use this to work on my breathing / as a recovery)
HIIT x 1
Yoga x 1 (usually after long run day)
Rest day x 1

... That's 11 days worth of workouts! Unless I double up on four of those days, it doesn't really work. There's the all or nothing again... this is kind of what I did before I got my ED - running every day, kickboxing every night.

OK... / end confusing rant.

Procrastination in many forms...

It's study week for exams, so naturally there is loads of procrastination through the form of delicious foodstuffs, exercise, and... there is always so much stuff to tidy up! (Don't forget the blog I am writing right now...)

I don't know what it is with me this semester, I think I've kinda broken or something... but I just don't have the motivation I had last semester. 

The uni has shortened all the semesters, so instead of two weeks off, we have one. Instead of a long mid-year break, it's only 4 weeks. So basically the entire year of teaching is squished between March and October, and then we get an insane four months off. Don't get me wrong - I'm seriously looking forward to those four months!! But it means I've been super stressed for the other eight, with little break in between, and I'm sooo over it. Anyway...

One of those weird apple-apricot-oat muffin-brownie things, covered in yoghurt mixed with peanut flour. It kinda made an icing!

Baby poo pudding. Well, it actually looked more baby poo coloured in real life... this was avocado, banana, spinach, cocoa powder, protein powder... and probably other stuff, I've forgotten now. It tasted better than it looks!

I finally jumped on the bandwagon and had a sweet potato with almond spread & greek yoghurt. Now I see. I understand!

Finished my Justin's Hazelnut Butter and of course had oats in a jar... bittersweet moment.

Peanut flour mixed with the last of my greek yoghurt.

As much as I dearly love blogs that are full of foodie pictures and exercise stuff, and as much as I want to include that in mine, I don't want it to be all about that stuff. I've never been part of "mainstream" or "popular". I've always been on the outskirts. So I guess I kind of want my blog to reflect that. 

I'm not a goth or emo or anything like that, I guess it's more that my social anxiety has led me to become more isolated than I would like to be, and while people seem to like me, that's as far as it usually gets. OK, gone off on a tangent there!!

I would like to actually write more often though. Probably after exams. I have three - Chemistry, Anatomy & one that is pretty much social / environmental / biological etc determinants of health, but has a much longer name.

All right I'm going to have to stop writing now and actually start studying.

Oh.. PS. Thanks for all the great comments on my last post :D