Everything will be OK.

I can't believe what a different person I become when I'm surrounded by people I love. I'm happy, bubbly, outgoing and apparently really funny. I just spent two weeks in Melbourne with 20 of my workmates. We see each other twice a year for two weeks, and we have become really close. I had such an amazing time and have a renewed vigour for life, I hope that it lasts!
I think a lot of the problems I was feeling before I left was just too much time on my hands to think. When I was surrounded by friends 24/7, I did not worry or think about food all the time. I was more relaxed. I didn't feel depressed, except 1 day when I just felt off anyway.
I ate really well and did heaps of exercise the first week:

Saturday: rest
Sunday: Interval run session with friends:
4 x 400m
2 x 200m
8 x 100m
(Pushups & squats inbetween each rep)
& a 1.25 km swim.
Monday: arm workout with friends: heaves, pushups, leg lifts & shoulder presses.
Tuesday: 4 km run
Wednesday: 5 km run
Thursday: random gym workout - kickboxing for 30 mins, legs for 30 minutes + 0.5km in the pool.
Friday: 5 km run + 1.65 km swim
Saturday: rest

All of the workouts were awesome fun.

The next week wasn't as great as I got busier with work and injured myself on the Wednesday:
Sunday: 9km run (split into 5 & 4)
Monday: 10 minute swim
Tuesday: rest
Wednesday: 7.5 km hilly run

and then nothing for four days...

My injury was sustained during work, basically I was lifting a generator which weighs 73kg out of a vehicle trailer with a friend, and must have lost my grip, it landed on my foot. Luckily the shoes are pretty good (not steel cap, but tough enough!) So all I sustained was dark bruising, swelling and a black toenail. It really hurts to bend the big toe though, so I've been limping around and not running. I'm hoping it will be fine soon?? I'm very lucky to have been wearing those shoes....

I plan on spending this week mainly doing swimming and strength work so to let it heal properly, but if I'm desperate I might give a go at running tomorrow and see how I feel.

I must mention also that I'm pretty proud of how disgustingly I ate in the second week... I know that sounds crazy haha :P But I literally had like 3000+ calories in the last three days (each day) - mostly in booze and hangover food! Had some AMAZING nights, and they were seriously really fun, so it was worth everything. I even had a Hungry Jacks (Burger King) meal and enjoyed it... mind you at the time I was really, really drunk and probably seriously needed it. The best part??? I didn't feel overly guilty, because I knew it was just a couple of days of fun and then I could resume eating normally and everything would be OK. I also did not count calories for the whole two weeks.

Challenging myself.

So I'm back from my two week trip into the bushes of Australia. As per the previous post on Introversion, it was not all sunshine and roses. Far from it.
The challenges I thought I would have the trouble with was eating unhealthy food and not being able to exercise. In reality the most trouble I had revolved around being bored and dealing with an extremely arrogant, chauvinistic pig who was basically a "workplace bully".

The food challenge went really, really well though. I ended up eating m & ms a couple of times, usually a forbidden type of food. Takeaway pizza one night. Went out for dinner twice - once I ordered steak with fries and ate them all, another time I had deep fried zucchini "balls" (with salad). I also went out drinking with the boys - after which I had bacon and eggs. I also ate the most forbidden food of them all in my mind - a donut. The good part about it though, is that while I felt guilty each time I ate these unhealthy foods, I did not beat myself up about it (too much) or dwell on it to a large degree.

I was not able to work off anything I ate. We were not allowed to wear anything but our uniform and as I only had two pairs and we had no access to showers.... yeah. It would have also been too difficult as we couldn't leave the small square area of bush we were based in, so unless I ran 100 m back and forth!! I decided to just use the two weeks as a break / rest. Although I suspect it will be VERY difficult to get back into it all. It always is after a break! My plan tomorrow is to go for an easy run and just see how I feel, run as many k's as my legs feel good for.

The weirdest part of all? After eating rubbish food and doing NO exercise for two weeks... I lost 1.6 kilos (3.6 pounds). Honestly, every time I do something like this, I ALWAYS lose weight. It's really confusing and frustrating. While I know when I'm away I don't count calories and tend to eat a little more intuitively, it still doesn't seem to make sense that I can eat food with no nutritional value and generally treat my body in a crappier way yet it responds with weight loss. Then I go back home and return to my normal ways and it comes back on.

I usually either respond by attempting to eat more intuitively when I get home (usually backfires and ends up with weight gain) or increase my calories to match what I thought I was eating when away (usually ends up with weight gain too). Hopefully it's not muscle loss or something, and that's the reason why I always lose when I go away somewhere and then it returns when I resume exercising. Hmm... curious.

I will be back tomorrow with a WIAW post. I'm probably going to be eating some sort of "detox" kind of foods. I'm not into the whole detox thing, but basically I mean getting back to eating healthier wholesome foods to rid my body of all the processed rubbish I've been eating. Had a lunch for my grandma's birthday today and there was lots of salad and fruit salad, so that was a great start. I missed fresh food!!!

November Goals.

1. Eat more vegetables.

You would be surprised how little vegetables I actually eat. Considering I am an ex (sometimes questionable?) ED sufferer and 95% of what I eat is super healthy, I still don't consume enough vegetables! I'm a little paranoid about them actually... when I was eating super massive amounts in the past with my purely vegetable lunches, I had really bad gas.

2. Run 100 km in November.

I ran 75 km in October, so I'm upping the ante for November. Shouldn't be too difficult.

3. Do one thing each week to get myself out of my comfort zone. This can be anything - food related, social related, exercise related, whatever!

As for my October goals? I don't think I thought them out very well! They were:

1. Reduce the amount of coffee / diet coke I drink - this didn't happen. I drank only one diet coke a week the first three weeks, then had like four in the last week!

2. Prepare my lunch for the week on the weekend - this wasn't necessary as I only had one teaching week left, and the rest I was at home!

3. Actually schedule me-time that isn't exercise related into my study schedule, rather than procrastinating being my me-time - managed this one, though!

Losing weight again

So I've been thinking again... I want to lose this weight I've gained. It's only about 5-8 kg to get back down to what I was not so long ago, but it's driving me batty. 

[DISCLAIMER: I am actually bordering on overweight, so although I've had an ED, I'm trying to lose healthy now...]

So I've rethought a few things, and instead of trying to eat intuitively and making myself eat fear foods - I think I'm getting better at that - it's back to trying to lose the weight, since I now have a healthier relationship with food. I've been thinking about different ways of doing this and I've come up with (believe it or not) less exercise to start with - slowly increasing it as I go.

My favourite lunch at uni... usually includes a range of this selection: falafel balls, egg,
tuna, carrot, sprouts, olives, chick peas, mixed nuts, dried fruit, baby spinach,
beetroot, couscous salad, pasta salad etc.

I think I've gone about exercise the wrong way a lot of the time, going all out and overdoing it, burning myself out, injuring myself, that kind of thing. So this week all I have done is gone on two short runs and two short walks, tomorrow I'm doing a 5km run. So three runs, two walks. Feels pretty lazy at the moment but I'm going to slowly work it up. As for the food side of it, I'm not "restricting" as such, but changing the macros - instead of what I've currently been having (roughly 35% fat, 45% carbs and 20% protein), I'll be trying to switch it to 20% fat, 50% carbs and 30% protein. Hoping the extra protein will keep me fuller so I'll eat less - only reducing by 100-200 calories a day. So far today was difficult (mainly keeping the fat down - I love my fats!) but I managed it, with the help of my friend protein powder. Speaking of... 

Found this today, YAY SOY, means I can actually have some without belly issues :D Plus it's chocolate flavour, I was a bit over that vanilla flavour I had.

My delicious breakfast, which was a melted banana mixed in with oats, coconut vanilla butter, raisins, chia seeds and cinnamon.

Lunch - Two pieces sprouted grain bread spread with a small amount of basil pesto, 1 egg, some baby spinach and mushrooms lightly fried with cajun seasoning.

* Just so you know, that isn't all I ate today - just didn't take pics of anything else ;)

I also found these at the supermarket yesterday, and they are SO DELICIOUS. Poppyseed and orange is always a good combination - and the bar is just fruit with poppyseeds :) Yay!

This was also a new product I found, banana and honey soy milk in tetra packs :D Should come in handy...

Oh and I bought this singlet from Cotton On Body, ha, I thought it was such a great play on words... don't get me wrong, I do love the treadmill occasionally, but you aren't actually going anywhere when you're on one ;) I thought it would be fun to wear when I actually go on the treadmill... OK, call me lame :P

Tomorrow I'm doing by first 5 km race... I know, weird, because I've done 3 12kms, 1 10km and two 14 km, but I've never done a 5k! I really want to actually get to the 30 minute mark, that shall be my goal, but of course any quicker would be nice... not expecting to break any records but my own! Looking forward to it!