Intuitive Eating

I forget what blog I read it on, but I have been trying - sort of - to eat intuitively. It's been failing most of the time, because I still count calories. But today I attempted to follow it by buying this monster:

It's a chocolate chip muffin with sugar granules on top. I was in line for a coffee to dull my hunger as it was only 9.30 am, when I saw one of these... I'd always looked at them and told myself no, too many calories, made with butter, flour and sugar - three things I usually avoid if possible. A fear food, if you must. So today I thought... I'm going to get one. Must find out if they are as good as they look. (The pic doesn't do it justice...) Anyway, it was ok. Wasn't fantastic, but wasn't bad either. It reminded me why I don't like floury buttery sugary muffins - because I get that weird feeling on my tongue afterwards! Mostly nobody knows what I'm talking about when I say that, so I don't expect people to...

The other thing - I felt guilty every single bite I took, but I still ate the entire thing. I also denied myself lunch by eating it, which ended up being OK as I wasn't hungry for lunch anyway.

How does one get past the guilt and just try to enjoy the food because you like the taste? Instead of going "I will only eat something high calorie if it offers nutritional benefits / I enjoy it immensely". Instead of eating it and then bingeing because you feel guilty, or denying yourself healthier food because it's then too many calories? How do you eat something just because, and then continue on with your day as if it didn't matter?

Yes, I'm still not really "normal" in my eating habits, yet I'm very close to the BMI of overweight. I don't know how to lose weight without counting calories (even though that's still not working!). If I try to intuitively eat, I tend to go overboard and think I can eat anything, so I eat like crazy and gain weight. I don't know what the solution is, so I'm just going to keep counting calories... wow, did that paragraph make any sense?? Anyway onto some pics because I am rambling...

Here's what I had for breakfast today... two pieces of wholemeal bread with ricotta cheese, pear and a couple of raisins. Was delicious!

Here's a pic of the weird oaty banana coconut slice thing I made.

These are slightly amazing.

I have some plans for some baking this weekend, as well as copious amounts of study...