Turtle-speed Runner

Today I feel fat and gross. I tried on some clothes and looked in the full-length mirror, and three weeks of boot camp, I swear, has made me fatter. I'm not more toned or anything... my stomach is bloated as hell and I looked gross. I went to the gym this morning and went on the elliptical for 25 mins, ran for 15, rowing 5 mins and bike 10 mins... only put effort in for the run & elliptical though, the rest was like a cool down. Was a good workout, but my shins hurt a bit on the treadmill :(
I don't get why the more exercise I do, the fatter I seem to get. I mean, I'm not "fat", but my legs are getting leaner while my bum and stomach are getting bigger. Your stomach is supposed to be where the fat goes when you eat unhealthy fats. I so don't understand. One day, I will understand how it all works. You'd think studying nutrition and having an obsessive nature with food and exercise and  teaching myself stuff about it would be able to lose weight the healthy way, but no, it still puzzles me.
I do no exercise and eat bad, I usually lose weight. Every time I go away somewhere like a holiday or a course, I usually lose weight. At home, I gain a kilo, lose a kilo, gain a kilo, lose a kilo, every single week, and it drives me mad!!! I've been very consistent with my exercise too (maybe not the intensity, but working out 3-5x a week, every week, for at least two years). and I eat all healthy food. I admit, I probably eat a lot, but this is because I'm still disordered with my eating... but it shouldn't be too much when you think of all the exercising I'm doing.
ARRGH!

Well, that went off on a complete tangent.

What was my initial point? I'm not really sure now... I'm planning on returning to kickboxing, maybe this week, as they've offered a "50% off for returning students" deal. As I was wanting to return anyway and money was the issue... it's like they're TELLING me to go back. Anyways... I'm gonna stop whingeing now. I'm seriously not having a good day - spent my morning feeling fat, as well as 5.5 hrs of studying anatomy. Good times :(

Will hopefully not spend my night binging...